There's a 'body' on the rocks
I don't know what it's doing there
It's not dead, but it's not alive either
So I guess I'll just paint it
It's all I know to do
Two honking gulls
Souls of the drowned some say
Maybe that's why no-one likes seagulls
I'm in the West
Gateway to the Other World
Wave comes crashing over rocks
Near where I sit, painting
Hold fast
Heart thumping wildly
One year since my father left for the Unseen Sea - a year is long enough for any ghost.
4 comments:
I know he must have been so proud of you.
It is such a long and involved process, isn't it, this dying thing. For us, I mean.
My experience of my daughter's father and her own journey is that grief and understanding are always evolving, given time and growth. Quite often it is unexpected and not always pleasant. There is no quick path to saying goodbye, no running. Just the walk, the time taken to check in with yourself.
Your guilt that you wrote of, of underestimating him, will pass. I've heard you say some truly admiring things of your father over the years, even when he has frustrated the hell out of you.
How sad that he didn't get to read your last words, but he would have known anyway, they were expressed and like I said, he loved you and was proud of his brave daughter!
I really feel for you at this moment. BT said to me once that the one-year-day is the hardest and can sneak up and ambush your heart.
Thanks ST. I really appreciate your words. I think the one year thing is quite significant so I am trying to mark it in some way. I thought of Somaya as I was writing this blog actually....it must have been so hard for her because she never really knew her dad on her own tems.
I am still trying to understand why family figures are so important. I know other people just accept that they are - my Aboriginal friends have an innate knowledge and appreciation of this that just escapes me! So I have to try and understand it through other means. As you say, takes time.
Joan Campbell said:
Do ghosts have a time constraint? Love your image and poem. XXJ
Thanks Joan. Of course ghosts don't have a time limit, but maybe I do....
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