THERE'S NOBODY OUT THERE

I seem to be sharing my insights with several people at the moment, about similar but different things. My answers are based on observation and personal experience of a lifetime (so far) but also on an eclectic mix of Hindu, Rajneesh, Buddhist and Jungian philosophy, Western and Eastern astrology, numerology and alchemy.

I have been directing people to some of my previous blogs in the hope that some of what I have written will provide some small illumination. This blog has happened in reverse because I am posting a recent e-mail conversation - I thought it might be useful for others grappling with the whole human relationship conundrum. It is a slightly dense ideology but if you can get your head around it, it certainly does cut through a lot of the confusion - eventually.

In certain psychological/spiritual frameworks, Jungian in particular, but also Eastern philosophical systems, there is this idea that 'there is really nobody else out there'. What that translates to in real terms is this: everything we see, feel, know is a reflection, projection of ourselves. That means that if people 'press our buttons' (yes, this is a hackneyed Rajneesh phrase) there is some issue in there for US to look at. So in relationships with others we often choose people, and this includes friends, who either reflect an aspect of ourselves, complement us in some way (maybe some quality we want for ourselves) - that's why opposites attract too - or reinforce a self-belief. If we don't like ourselves we choose to be with people who treat us like shit. However, there is a responsibility in there for us to understand why we have certain friendships and relationships, and maybe why we keep repeating the same patterns.

I will share my own experience which may help. I am attracted to a certain kind of man. And in the past I have not been able to stay in relationship with these people because I felt that they were 'wrong' for me. But repeating the choice and the behaviour over and over had to mean something, so I started looking at that. It was bloody difficult, still is sometimes. It doesn't mean I am exactly the same as that person or that they are my opposite, because obviously relationships and personalities are complex, but I chose these people, and then I couldn't face up to what I had chosen. I didn't like what I saw, I didn't want to accept what they were reflecting to me. Now you could say that was because they weren't what I thought they were, but in all honesty, that was crap. I knew what they were.....but there was still something very attractive. The attraction means there is something to be learned, people we aren't attracted to in some way just fall by the wayside - at least for me anyway. They are bland, nothing interesting for me....there's no angst, animosity.....nothing really, even though they may be very nice people.

I will share something else which may mean something and may not. (I don't know where I read this but I could back it up with reasoning based on gender archetypes) Apparently: 'A man's emotional centre is woman, woman's spiritual centre is man'. (works the same for gays depending on dynamics of the relationship) Is it any wonder that we reach an impasse at some stage?