I have never considered myself much of a painter. My first love was drawing. It still is. From there, because I seemed to be into 'form' I moved easily into traditional sculpture. Although I learnt how to do lost wax bronze sculpture the whole process was just too cumbersome, time hungry and expensive. In my final year at technical college I transferred my major to painting, really a default position. Being a traditionalist I stuck with oils, but I never really liked paint.
When I began my doctorate I wanted to make big images. The logistics of doing 2.4 metre square drawings - getting flat surfaces large enough, figuring out how to exhibit and store them - was just too problematic. Now I realise that I didn't think it through well enough - too late, I decided the easiest thing to do was to make paintings. Again, I reverted to my default position - only problem was, I still hated paint.
5 years on I still hate it. I am just not a painterly painter. I don't relish in it, can't stand the stuff getting all over my hands, having to wash everything with turps, even though I use the pure stuff that smells like tree gum. (Don't even mention acrylics! They are passionless, no soul, dry 2 shades darker, are flat......) 5 years on I am now getting close to finishing the first big painting I started for my doctorate. There is now so much paint on the masonite support after trowelling it on that the craggy layers cast significant shadows in a side light.
It has got me thinking, it's really more of a drawing than a painting. It's tonal, even though it is in colour, it has been done with spatulas and common hardware store paint scrapers. The paint isn't lusciously applied, and any time I have tried to use a brush, I regret it and revert to the palette knives. I murder a painting with a brush. I should be ex-communicated as a painter. I recently said in an e-mail to my prac. supervisor: I am not a painter's arse! And this is no false modesty.
So I am going to call these works, 'drawings in paint' - because that is what they are to me. I know that in 2011 we shouldn't even be trying to negotiate the difference between a painting and a drawing, it shouldn't matter. But it matters to me because if I call it a painting it will be judged as such.
Anyway, it really is more of an 'idea' than a 'thing'.
images: 2 small drawings in oil. I'll post the painting in question when/if I finish the doctorate.
9 comments:
Joan Campbell said:
Your recurring comment from time to time about not being a painter keeps coming into my mind. I think these categories are now completely redundant. Like you, I have never really considered myself to be a painter, but I have had to acknowledge that I am an artist because I have an artistic temperament.
Judgements about good and bad reside elsewhere and can also be irrelevant.
I agree with re painting and categories. There is also no doubt in my mind that I am an 'artist', just not a painter.
Abstract art appeals to me much more these days, but I think I will probably always be a 'symbolist' of sorts.
Joan said:
Thank you for your extended 'confession'. I must say I do not get an impression of hate or even dislike looking into your big canvasses. I am aware of the IDEA behind them but you have managed to make them painterly in cunning ways. The main impact of course is the sense of space and I don't think just because of their size. The composition and the pared down image adds to this heightened space enormously.
Your drawing skills are awesome whatever the medium or style.
Thanks for your encouraging comments Joan. I will be getting into drawing in a much bigger way when I have finished the doctorate, and being more 'creative' about how I combine things. I am learning to draw with a digital tablet at the moment and it is almost like learning to draw all over again. Very strange......
Well I like your approach to painting. It is quite obvious to me that you like the paint. For me, most things are a means to an end but I sometimes think that I miss out somewhat by being orientated that way.
Wow way to hard on yourself my friend. I have seen your paintings/drawings and they are works of art. You are an artist not a painter and there is a difference.
Here is my question.
What is a painting and who decides what a painting is or isn't?
Well that is a really interesting question FT and I will do another post about it. It is really an academic question and as Joan says, judgements are probably irrelevant amyway.
But thanks for the encouragement and comments about my paintings - yes, I am hard on myself but I think most artists are..... I am happy to be happy with what I achieve though.
Anyway, how are you going? How is your study going? I lost the link to your blog - are you still blogging?
Hi MF I am still blogging. I was changing my name back to my maiden name, so maybe that is why you lost the link. Google up barbara.matters@blogspot.com and you should be able to get me back. Can you let me know if it doesnt work?
Its working on my end.
I shall stop playing with it and leave it alone now...lol
FT
Oh and study is going fantastic. Passed my units so writing my dissertation this year.
Have a new job for 12 months. Bit of a break from the arts so I am going to enjoy it. Secondment. Native Title job. Looking forward to it actually. Less stress...lol
Good to see you still blogging.
FT
That's excellent new FT re study and job. Looks like the Year of the Dragon is going to be a good one for you. I will see if I can get your blog back.....
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