For months I have been having epic surfing dreams in which I am unafraid, in harmony with the sea. Sometimes I am even jubilant and triumphant, hurtling down the face of a large wave. I have been meditating for 25 minutes, every day for 7 weeks now, and it seems to help me remember my dreams more clearly.
But in my waking life I am in a 'no-woman's' land. It is to be expected I guess. I am officially a 'Doctor', my thesis is being bound and the digital version is online at Curtin and on my website - there is nothing more to do. I have loaned out a couple of hard copies to interested readers but there has been no flurry of activity and I didn't expect one. In my work-life things are unstable as usual - I have picked up an extra copyright class and may teach PhotoShop in term 4 - things continue to limp along.
But there is a split, a disjuncture. Once my art and my spiritual life were aligned. Now that I want to study graphic design, I wonder if I can reconcile it with future spiritual study. Or even if I need to. In meditation recently a voice said to me: you are that which you seek. I know this is true. So I am wondering what is next. Is anything at all next? After encountering the Void - is there anything else? Or am I just marking time? Is there still a role for images in the spiritual journey of my life? Apart from their more commercial application that is. Is that going to be enough? Or should I instead devote all of my attentions to psychic evolution? If I do that, how do I make a living? Or is just living my life mindfully enough, no matter what sort of images I produce?
I don't know the answers to any of these questions right now. It is probably not a good time to be making any decisions. I am not comfortable with this state of inertia - but I know how this goes. I will just have to wait for knowing to come.