My computer desktop, e-mail inbox and studio have never been emptier. Since submitting my thesis, having the exhibition and doing my artist's talk there is nothing driving me. I don't start back at my 'job' (paid work) for another couple of weeks so I've been telling myself to relax, do nothing, have a rest. Truth is I have little motivation or energy anyway.
I have been throwing myself in the ocean to surf each morning and lying around watching old movies in the afternoon. Occasionally I wander aimlessly in my now sparsely furnished studio after reorganising it when the big paintings were loaded on the truck for Perth. I still don't know what I am going to do with them when they come back - I like my new spacious studio the way it is.
It's all very well taking a break from 'work', except for me my 'art practice' is also my 'spiritual practice'. It has been this way for a very long time - no wonder I am feeling a little bereft.
There are things I discovered along the way that I want to explore now that I am free to do so, so I don't need to reinvent myself - the process is ongoing. Throughout my study I never lost sight of the reasons I make images in the first place. However, as part of this re-evaluation, I do feel the need to go back to the core of what my art is about and why I do it. The very significant insights I have had into the role of images in human consciousness will no doubt influence what I do next, and it is this I want to pursue.
The study and research will continue - it is what I do, it is why I am here on the planet. I am on a mission and that won't change until I have reached a point of wisdom where I don't feel the need to pursue anything. Only then will I be able to truly rest.
