Friday, 13 June 2014

inertia

For months I have been having epic surfing dreams in which I am unafraid, in harmony with the sea. Sometimes I am even jubilant and triumphant, hurtling down the face of a large wave. I have been meditating for 25 minutes, every day for 7 weeks now, and it seems to help me remember my dreams more clearly.

But in my waking life I am in a 'no-woman's' land. It is to be expected I guess. I am officially a 'Doctor', my thesis is being bound and the digital version is online at Curtin and on my website - there is nothing more to do. I have loaned out a couple of hard copies to interested readers but there has been no flurry of activity and I didn't expect one. In my work-life things are unstable as usual - I have picked up an extra copyright class and may teach PhotoShop in term 4 - things continue to limp along. 

But there is a split, a disjuncture. Once my art and my spiritual life were aligned. Now that I want to study graphic design, I wonder if I can reconcile it with future spiritual study. Or even if I need to. In meditation recently a voice said to me: you are that which you seek. I know this is true. So I am wondering what is next. Is anything at all next? After encountering the Void - is there anything else? Or am I just marking time? Is there still a role for images in the spiritual journey of my life? Apart from their more commercial application that is. Is that going to be enough? Or should I instead devote all of my attentions to psychic evolution? If I do that, how do I make a living? Or is just living my life mindfully enough, no matter what sort of images I produce?

I don't know the answers to any of these questions right now. It is probably not a good time to be making any decisions. I am not comfortable with this state of inertia - but I know how this goes. I will just have to wait for knowing to come.

image: my © - digital drawing of a wound added to a digitally enhanced photo.

2 comments:

  1. Joan Campbell commented:
    When one phase comes to an end there is always a hiatus - especially if that phase was as lengthy and as intense as yours was. I have read your whole thesis from cover to cover: it got easier as I went and I found so much in it that confirms my intuitional journey, which is good to have from another perspective. Your last section is particularly pertinent and it has actually answered my question about what comes after the Void and how it and the Images point beyond themselves to higher realms of consciousness. Your labours have brought you to this realisation and achieved valuable insights. Initiation cannot be forced in isolation: they come when we are ready through living our life as normally as possible and meeting the challenges as they appear. Whatever road we take will bring us to the same place. Already you have been led to the regular meditation sessions which will open other doors - even if just daydreaming, perhaps specially so, and surfing.

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  2. Thanks Joan. I'm glad it was of some relevance to you. I'm glad also that it got easier. I did try to make it as easy a journey for the reader as I could.

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