Strange time

Cover image for an exhibition flyer I designed for an artist friend. 

Every time I think about doing a post I'm overwhelmed. So much to say but nothing really useful or positive to offset the cacophony of global misery. The Year of the Tiger continues to thwart - so much so I have written the year off. Every time I tried to make plans they didn't work out. 

Watching the news hasn't helped - so much uncertainty and conflict in the world.  I'm seriously considering imposing a media ban on myself.

My time in the art therapy course I started in second semester lasted a few short weeks. I quit before the census date so I wouldn't incur any costs. If I was 20 years younger and believed I had a future, it might have been different, but having to learn about the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems was very unappealing. Add to that the frustration of having to work online on a presentation project with 20-something year olds who wouldn't respond to any of my emails or messages.... 'nup' I said to myself.... I'm too old for this shit.

Since leaving my job a year ago I have been drifting.  It's not like me to be in this space of not knowing what to do next. I have been up several blind alleys - so I've decided to give up until the new year. The Chinese astrologers say the year of the Rabbit is looking much better for me (the Rat) and in the absence of anything better, I'll take it:

I'm still managing the Facebook group for an environmental organisation but internal politics have caused me a lot of mental stress so I signalled more than 2 months ago they would have to find someone else to do the job. But of course there is nobody to replace me so I am still doing it - for now. Turns out I am really good at it. I got amazing feedback from some veteran campaigners that I had made inroads into the issue where others hadn't been able to for decades, even professionals who had been paid very well. By accident I seem to have acquired the perfect skill set, a result of decades practising as an amateur psychologist, a fascination for what motivates people, graphic design skills, an ability to simplify complex ideas, to write clearly and succinctly enough to communicate them effectively, years working in education and of course a life time studying visual messaging - how to communicate ideas quickly through images and understand how people interpret them. 

Turns out these skills are sought after. If you look for jobs in 'marketing and communications' you'll find heaps. So I had a second attempt at enrolling in the online Certificate IV in Marketing and Communications. I tried earlier this year but missed out - the course is very competitive - but this time I was offered a place within days so I grabbed it. It doesn't start until 2023 but that's fine because it might fit in better with the astrology.

Anyone who knows me might be surprised at this choice of potential career. My mother reminded me that I am not into capitalism and commercialism, however marketing and comms. is also relevant for not-for-profit organisations - the 'product' and motivation might be completely different but the basic principles are the same. If I am interested enough to complete the course it is something I might be able to do into old age. I could work online from anywhere in the world and age doesn't have to be a barrier. Anyway, I'll see if I can cope because I'm sure I will have to deal with a whole lot of commercial marketing bullshit.

Apart from that I have had an intermittent but steady stream of small graphic design jobs - nowhere near enough to replace what I was paid by the prison but still welcome. I have now spent the proceeds from the sale of the best car I have ever owned and my partner is paying most of the bills. I'm very lucky to have that option but I am too young to retire, and too old to do the things I once turned to as a way to make a living. Stuck somewhere between thinking I might still be useful to society, yet also wondering whether there is any point trying - it is a very strange time.