end of semester

End of first semester. This was my final submission for drawing. A3, hand-drawn in mixed media. Still loving it - Can't wait to start Photography and Design units in 2015.

team australia: men in suits

There are 2 ‘teams’ in the spotlight fighting it out on Planet earth – both patriarchal, sexist and taking the high moral ground. Team 1 is defending the ridiculous idea that every individual should have ‘freedom’ of choice and the right to live the life they want. (Just think about this you fools – not everyone can have what they want because it impinges on someone else’s rights) Team 2 - well who the fuck knows what they are really about. Their orientation to life is mediaeval – tribal. They despise the ‘feminine’ even more than Team 1 – at least Team 1 pays lip service to the notion of equality and lets women play along, as long as they don’t have any real power. Then they are out of the team.

Neither team will win - there are not going to be any winners.

These teams have more in common than they will ever realise - both want to be in control. They aren’t, they can’t be and never will be, but they will fight to the death. Each has an image of themselves as defenders of ‘truth’ - ‘brave’ souls who stand up for their principles and the wellbeing of humanity. In reality, they are not just 'naughty boys' - simply very, very fearful but dangerous people. Team 2 is afraid of freedom and Team 1 is afraid they might lose it and along with it, their God-given right to dominate the world based on the insane idea that there can be unlimited growth. Expansion of population, wealth, standard of living, longevity…...do the sums you idiots - any reasonably intelligent person will tell you there are swings and roundabouts, bell curves, ebbs and flows. Team 1's position is not only unscientific, it just doesn't make any fucking sense! 

One of the subsidiaries of Team 1 is Team Australia – which really means: male, Christian, right-wing, white, capitalist – unless you have shitloads of money and then it doesn’t matter what colour or sex you are. Some of us like to think we belong to Team Australia but it is a very select club and we probably don’t. It’s like the cool gang at school – kids want to belong to it but it has no real substance – it is built on lies and the fear of not being accepted.

Most individuals in either of these 2 teams have absolutely no idea they created each other – without one the other would not exist.

I am completely over the rhetoric. Even the ABC news is shoving this stuff in my face every day. I have resorted to looking at my Pages on Facebook – the ones I have subscribed to - because everywhere else is fear and mayhem. This is the ‘rule of the shouting masses’ prophesied by Plato. Panic abounds - everyone is shouting and nobody is listening.

So why is it like this? Because Planet earth is a place of dualities, binaries – always working towards equilibrium but never achieving it. It is folly to expect it to be any different. And anyway - there is a much bigger problem for humanity and it eclipses the GFC, mass beheadings, Ebola and refugees. Planet Earth has had enough of our destructive ways and is finally fighting back. She’s kicking those patriarchs fair in the balls.

And while Nero fiddles....well you know how it goes. The Christians and the Muslims are nearly right about one thing – except that we will all burn.

a rat's guide to survival 1

A perfect storm of circumstances conspired to shape me into a ‘survivor’. First, but not necessarily in this order, I am an artist. As my peers will tell you, you need to be tough to ‘be’ an artist – for a number of reasons - among which the lack of money figures predominantly. But also because you have to be a bit belligerant and cultivate a thick skin – everyone is an art critic, whether they know anything about it or not (usually not).

Second – I was raised by my Dutch grandmother who lived out the second world war in occupied Holland – very close to the German border. She grew up in a middle class family and learnt about frugality the hard way. She was a young woman with 2 small children when the war broke out - that 5 years shaped the remainder of her life. She passed the lesson onto her children. Most of them didn’t take it on board but I took it to heart – probably because it resonated with my own nature.

Third and maybe most critically, I was born in the Chinese Year of the Rat. Rats are born survivors and I am no different. I am always aware of my surroundings, I sit facing the door and have worked out all the exit routes before most people know there is anything going down. If there is a whiff of trouble, follow the rat – they don’t get their reputation for being the first to leave a sinking ship for nothing. At exhibition openings I am the first to head for the grub and get stuck in before I go and look at the art. You have to get your priorities right if you want to be a survivor.

Although I am definitely not wealthy by Western living standards I can afford to buy new clothes. But I much prefer Op Shops – there is something very satisfying about tracking down that unique little treasure at a bargain price. Where’s the challenge in heading for a rack of boringly similar items? I don’t want to wear what everyone else is wearing anyway. I am also in the habit of salvaging other people’s lost items. The thongs I am currently wearing were found at the beach. I haven’t bought a beach towel for – well – ever! I don’t steal things, I give it a couple of days to see if anyone claims the item before I take it home and add it to my stash.

This is a very Rat thing – which you will know if you have ever found a rat’s nest under your house or in a cupboard. Rats will collect things that seem absolutely useless to anyone else – but that’s where the resourceful bit comes in – you never know when something will come in handy – and it has on many occasions. When I lived with my mother as a small child she used to regularly clear out my stash when I was at school. I would come home and wail that someone had ‘froan out all my good stuff’ and head to the bin to retrieve it. As a mature person I have trained myself to curb this natural tendency, but I will often still pick up bits of blue plastic on the beach out of habit.

I am resilient and resourceful and, at times, I can be ruthless – these are good Rat words because they also begin with R. I am calculating but not because I want to take advantage of anyone. My code for life is that, where possible, any transaction should be mutually beneficial to both parties.  I love working out ways to make that happen – it’s the best kind of problem solving – doing the sums, negotiating – it is creative and maybe that’s why I like it so much.

Finding creative solutions is in a Rat's blood, it is essential for making art and for survival as well.

image: This great image is called Rat Survivor, by DizOider (Petar Jokic) on Deviant Art

rediscovering discovery

After I finished my PhD into the Void I came to the conclusion that images were not an end in themselves - which meant that in and of themselves they have no intrinsic value. I expected to be a bit lost and I was, but I am an artist - did this mean my romance with images was over? It left me in a different, but similar material 'void' - it seemed inconceivable I would ever engage with images in the same way again.

For very practical reasons I enrolled in a Diploma in Graphic Design (online), which meant starting all over again from the beginning in a different but related field. What I found though, is that I am enjoying the same basic exercises I did in the early 80s when I went to Claremont TAFE to study art at tertiary level for the first time. I have rediscovered the simple pleasure of playing with shape and line and colour. 

Now one would assume images in design don't have much meaning because they are created for a specific, mostly commercial purpose. But even in design my 'brand' of image and way of percieving the world persists. This is evident from comparisons with other students' work - I am doing collage at the moment and the textures and images I am selecting are very 'me'. For the past year or so I have been obsessing with 'fire' and 'ice' and although I have been gathering these images, I put this investigation on hold until I finished the thesis. Now it is clear that I have moved naturally into a new phase - from the black/blue rock and water to red, yellow, black and white - the full significance of which I am yet to discover. These colours and certain motifs are showing up in my design work.

I had been wondering how I could integrate my new 'world focused' interest in graphic design with the ongoing process of individuation, so it was a relief to see that the unconscious was still guiding me. The colours of my collage are mainly red and yellow and I now believe I may be negotiating the alchemical phases of 'Rubedo' and 'Citrinitas'.

It seems that with awareness, or maybe even without it, the alchemy of images continues to evolve consciousness. Reassuringly the work goes on despite my numerous lapses and involvement in 'ordinary' reality and the everyday.

'balloon girl'

This is 'Balloon Girl' - all vectorised - sporting a new patterned dress, a bunch of balloons and her very own cloud.

image: DrGrafix image. Illustrator vector from an original idea.

a lighter side of life

So this is what I am reduced to. Actually it was a really fun exercise and I learnt a fair bit about Illustrator. 

This is what I get to do for part 1 of my Illustrator assignment - make a vector from a drawing of my choice. Which means turning it into something like the panda. Yes, all quite trivial subjects - as one person said - 'not really you'. In my defence, not many people appreciate that although I am known for delving into the dark psycho-philosophical depths I am also whimsical and very eccentric. No doubt it won't last, but it is really enjoyable - even a relief - to be surfing and creating in the sun at the moment.

from PhD to grade 1

I survived the first week and a half of my on-line graphic design course - survived being the key word here, because it was very fraught. Although I was excited to get going I stalled early on - getting used to on-line learning systems, negotiating the course structure - not to mention having to go right back to square one and start a drawing unit at beginner level. I had to suffer the indignity of redoing one exercise because my 'blind contour' drawings were too accurate, which meant I must have been peeking! Add to that the trauma of losing our internet connection towards the end of the week which meant I was unable to log on at will and watch videos at home. I have been going to the local TAFE every day this week so I can keep working. Through some clever 'hotspotting' via my partner's phone, I uploaded the first submission with 1 minute 46 seconds to spare last Sunday (which just happened to be my birthday). Phew! Our connection was only re-established yesterday after 6 days - how did we ever live without the internet?

I am very relieved I opted for part time (2 units) which is supposed to amount to 10 hours a week study, however the 4-6 hours a week for video tutorials in one unit alone only covers watching them. It's not enough time to take substantive notes and apply the knowledge. Although we don't need to submit anything for 4 weeks I can't see the point in passively watching videos - the information goes in and straight out - so I am taking notes and doing the exercises along with the cyber-tutor. I feel I may be at a slight disadvantage because younger minds will retain information more readily and I will probably have to work harder in the beginning. I am hoping my knowledge of design elements and principles will give me a huge advantage later on when I have learnt the software and can begin to enjoy creating some nice work.

The design software is one thing, but I have been drawing for 40 years. I could have got recognition for prior learning, but that is almost as much work as doing the entire unit. I also think it is good to get back to the core of things, and being humbled is very good for one's ego. The mission last week was simply to get through the material. My performance was adequate but I am reminding myself that although I have a PhD, and possibly the most to 'lose' here, this is not a competition and there is always much to be gained no matter where you sit on the academic ladder. Design is a new area for me so I am happy to be guided by what I think are very good tutors at the design school. I have placed myself in their capable hands.

The drawing above is the final in a series of exercises for the first week - a simple line drawing of a still-life.