SMACK!

Image: Author. Hand with digital drawing.

How to Save Humanity

Image: Author. Hand drawn, scanned and digitally coloured.

Kranky Bear on Videoing

Image: Author, scanned and manipulated pen drawing.

Kranky Bear Spotty Pants

This is Kranky Bear. Yes, he looks a bit like Carob Bear because he was the inspiration. In my usual subversive grumpiness I morphed benign smiling Carob Bear into Kranky Bear so he could bear witness to a whole bunch of things that are pissing me off. There will be some other silliness as well. Stay tuned!

Image: Author, hand drawn pen on paper.

How Fucked is Australia?

I'm still creating parodies like this. Apart from the occasional rant on Facebook, it's my antidote to the depressing state of affairs in this country. 

I don't expect any of my images to change anything but I need to channel my frustration somehow.

Image: Author, digital collage with illustration

Ho Ho - Ho Hum

Apparently these are the top 9 illustration styles that were trending in 2019. Maybe it's just my lacklustre disinterested apathy, but they look pretty similar to me. Boring. 

I'm usually in a bit of a flat mood at this time of the year and 2019 is no different. I'll focus on getting through the next few crazy, tourist-filled weeks unscathed.

35 years on

An oldie but a goodie. This is me in the 1980s. Life goes in cycles. I'm a lot older. Some things have changed, some haven't. 

I still - love the sea and Fleetwood Mac, prefer drawing to painting, don't belong in the human world, prefer solitude, feel too much, maintain the rage, want to leave the planet.

What's changed - my body aches, I see more grey, I'm more compassionate, I'm less selfish, I'm tired of being angry, I'm more grateful.

Image: Author, pen and gouache drawing (digitally modified)

Christmas Rules

Image: Lessons Taught By Life

Latest meme

I've had this illustration sitting in a folder for ages but only yesterday figured out what these guys are saying to each other. 

I tend to move between a couple of styles of illustration and can't quite settle on one. I like the simplicity and retro feel of this style though.

Image: Author. Hand drawn and digitally coloured.

Tired & Rudderless

Had a fun boogie board bash in an onshore breeze yesterday. Water crystal turquoise and weather quite warm. The waves were biggish at times but crumbly and soft, not nasty - I did some 'flying'. That's what I call it when I lie flat on the boogie board, up the front with my arms out behind me instead of holding onto the board, and I turn the board with my body. I also got some more critical ones and stayed right in the top carving left, down, right and left again. Such fun. Feeling exhausted today. I must have got 30+ waves and had to keep making my way back out the channel along the rocks, duck diving the bigger sets that were breaking further out.

I'm still feeling quite directionless in life generally - rudderless. It's probably something to do with my age. Having reached my prime quite a few years ago I am adjusting to my less relevant social status - at least that's how it feels. It is a reality though that 2013 was the pinnacle of my academic career and my surfing prowess peaked a while ago too. Professionally I am unmotivated and feeling jaded. I'm grateful to have my job as it pays well so I don't have to do 30 hours to pay the bills. The 10 hours a week actual teaching can be challenging and exhausting though. The unpaid 1.5 hour travel and 2 hour lunch break added to my 5 hours of paid teaching each day don't help.

My malaise may also have a lot to do with the state of the world in general. My partner and I had a good chat yesterday on our 50km round trip to check another break (which was total shit) before getting in at our local. We talked about what is going on in the world and he confessed to feeling really stressed about it. Like me he is very concerned about what's happening to the planet, the environment, plants and animals. Some of the people he works with are climate deniers. It's frustrating and infuriating that so many are in denial while people like us are bearing the emotional burden of this. They are in denial because it's convenient - if they don't have to face up to reality they don't have to change their behaviour. Sometimes I want to scream at them. I don't know what will change their minds on this - maybe when their million dollar house gets burnt down or swept away in a 'once in a lifetime flood'.

Image: Custom avatar courtesy of Google.

The Patriarchy IS Going to Smash Itself

Readers of this blog may know I have a theory that matriarchies fall apart because they are over-run by external forces whereas patriarchies implode. So I don't agree with the premise of this poster - but I absolutely love the girl-power sentiment and the graphics.

There are encouraging signs the patriarchy is in trouble all over the world. I'm still waiting though.......

Image: Promotional poster for Albany Roller Derby, artist unknown

Culture/Mind Shift

It's a cliche to say that art reflects culture but as they also say, cliches are cliches for a reason. For  what seems like an eternity now I have been scrutinising popular culture and the media for signs that Western culture is tired of the excess, reevaluating itself and thinking about where it will go next. I've been quite despondent and all but given up - nothing seemed to be changing. But in the last couple of weeks, at the eleventh hour and possibly too late, there have been a couple of seemingly unrelated and encouraging signs that we have turned the corner. 

The first obvious shift has been in the global warming arena. Extinction Rebellion's emergence and growth on a global scale has been tsunami-like. I've been to 2 local rallies myself and Robin bought us t-shirts. People of all ages have been protesting all over the country and 350,000+ Australians have signed a petition demanding the government declare a climate emergency. 

The other day at work I was researching 2019 trends in art. Maximalism, Artisanal and Nature-inspired art is trending (1) Maximalism is a move from Minimalism with its white walls and quiet colour palettes towards 'the bigger, brighter, and busier'. (2) It's also a shift in mind-set from 'houses as investments' to 'houses as homes' in which people actually live. Maybe it's because we have changed our perspective. Home has been recognised as a sanctuary from an uncertain world, becoming harder to find and keep - rather than home as a showpiece that doesn't reflect our true identity or what's really important to us.

The shift towards nature is happening on several fronts. On Gardening Australia and Escape from the City stories about urban dwellers turning to nature and the land are popular. 

Another trend is the interest in Artisanal artwork that shows the hand of the artist. It has been around for some time but is gaining ground. Hand-drawn fonts have become more popular and available, and art retail platforms like Bluethumb that only accept traditional painting are doing well. Materiality and texture are sought after as people rediscover and embrace the things that make us human. Fibre, ceramics and other natural materials are big - which also signals a desire for the past. I'm not saying it's all good - this hideous little gem from Saatchi (shame on them) will set you back a mere $6090. 

The move towards the natural is echoed in the plethora of trending hand drawn fonts.

The one below is based on a stroke survivor's handwriting.

In another random event I watched the Top 20 on Rage this morning (mainly because there was nothing else on) and what I discovered was the cherry on the 'evidence cake' (I wonder what an 'evidence cake' would actually look like).

Miley Cyrus - the quintessential millenial drugs'n'rock'n'roll party girl - was singing about 'going back to the hills, giving up the booze and pills'. Her father, Billy-Ray Cyrus is high up in the charts with Old Town Road - a good old country and western duo with a 'back to the future' type video clip featuring horses, chaps and cowboy hats. Looks like cowboy never goes out of style  - in the US anyway. I have to admit I have a soft spot for country music so this is a delightful trend for me. As I write there are 3 country songs in Rage's Top 20 - an indication that people crave a return to a more innocent time.

Many are retreating back into their culture as the world regroups and retribalisies. I can't say I'm sorry about that - watching most music video clips and even movies, I can't tell which country I am in until the subtitles roll (or not). Happily, Australian shows are the exception. Maybe it shouldn't matter that world culture has been Americanised but it has been incredibly boring. I think that as the world has 'globalised' many see difference as divisive. Ironically it is globalisation itself  that has been the most divisive mechanism because it has demanded sameness and tried to white-out traditional cultures. Vive la difference I say. One of the best things about Australia is the wonderful variety of food different cultures have brought to the country.

Back to Rage. Today I saw Hispanic-American pop stars going back to their Latino roots with clips featuring 3 men on acoustic guitars and Mexican hats. Ed Sheeran, who as a Ranga is definitely not one of the beautiful people, currently has 3 songs on the charts - one about an ordinary couple mixing it with and completely unimpressed by celebrity culture, to the strains of 'we are not beautiful'. I saw African-Americans who have finally ditched hair straighteners and are now sporting affros, fat proud Negresses in white underwear and 80s Flashdance style film clips featuring girls in leotards and hairbands. There was less make-up, a lot more sentimentality and retro TVs everywhere.

I think many in Western culture are mourning a 'loss of innocence'. There's a general feeling that we are taking stock and looking back to more hopeful times when we weren't facing existential annihilation. About bloody time! Let's hope it makes a difference.

1. https://www.saatchiart.com/stories/2019-trend-report/
2. https://www.thespruce.com › what-is-maximalist-style-4685629Image 1: https://www.domino.com/content/maximalist-design-for-small-home/
Image 2: https://www.elledecor.com/design-decorate/trends/g27257676/saatchi-art-trends-2019/
Image 3: https://www.saatchiart.com/art/Sculpture-Hung-or-Hanged/1026813/3833544/view
Image 4: https://medium.muz.li/30-great-free-fonts-for-2019-14814a17e91a
Image 5: https://www.digitalartsonline.co.uk/news/typography/kristina-bold-is-font-based-on-stroke-survivors-handwriting/
Image 6: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/billy-ray-cyrus-is-back-but-he-never-really-went-away/2019/09/19/d53a849a-d984-11e9-a688-303693fb4b0b_story.html

Rebel Yell

Author, digital avatar Rebel Yell

beautiful ugliness

This is a digital drawing based on a randomly acquired photo of two hill-billy brothers. 

In the context of societal 'norms' their faces were all 'wrong'. I guess they would be considered 'ugly' to many people. Yet there was something intriguing about the placement of their features and the proportions of their faces - so I did a drawing of one of them. 

image: © Author, digital drawing

Anxiety? Bollocks.

Have you noticed how many commentators are talking about raised levels of anxiety in the 1st world? I even heard Tim Costello mention it the other day in a rerun of his 'One Plus One' interview. I'm actually a bit over it. Not because I don't see it in abundance all around me but because I think it's always been there. We just talk about it all the time.

You could say we are more anxious now because our species is facing the real existential threat of climate change. I feel there is definitely an undercurrent around that. But that doesn't account for the many who are in blissful denial and continue to consume like there is no tomorrow, which there won't be if we continue to do that of course. No, I'm pretty sure they aren't lying awake at night thinking about how badly we have fucked up this planet. They are more likely to be losing sleep over their mortgage or their reliance on insecure employment. And I think this is the point. It's true that as a species we are at a critical time but it's also possible that 'middle class' expectations about lifestyle and owning stuff have never been higher.

Anxiety is just a more palatable word for fear. And fear is an annoying but ever-present aspect of being human.

My Dutch grandparents, with whom I grew up, lived in occupied Holland for the entirety of WW2. My grandfather was a conscientious objector and hid in the attic for the duration. Food coupons allocated to a woman with 2 children were stretched to include a fully grown man. Add to that the fact that my grandmother contributed to the war effort by sabotaging German military equipment after they took over the factory she worked in. If she had been caught she would have been shot on the spot. I can't imagine a more stressful situation than that. My grandmother was a feisty and strong little woman but I don't think she ever fully recovered - even after moving to Australia in 1956. Although she was fully functional she always seemed a bit anxious.

Many, probably most people in the world, still live with that level of anxiety and worse. The threads that bind their lives together are tenuous. They are at the mercy of factors completely out of their control. Those of us lucky enough to be born or emigrate to the 1st world really need to reflect on that - daily. I'm tired of the aspirational middle-class whining. I want to shout: Take a look around you. Lower your expectations, you greedy fuckers.

It's true that I despair at the way my country is devolving. The so-called 'lucky country' is definitely losing its shine. I see the decay, the corruption and the growing inequity. But it's also true that a life in Australia - any life - is still a far better option than a life in many, many other countries.

Digital drawing by Dr Grafix (author)

Mercury mood

This is Mercury. She is me - or at least the 'resilient child' version of me. Mercury is always vigilant, suspicious, questioning - she constantly challenges the status quo, even her own. Mercury, as her name suggests, is mercurial. She gets to a point in her life when she yells 'fuck this shit' and swerves, changes direction and takes another path.

I'm in a Year 5. The last time I was in that cycle all hell broke loose. It was like I'd taken all the bits of my life and thrown them up in the air just to see where they landed. This is typical Mercury behaviour and it had happened several times before. Mercury doesn't really think about consequences, she just wants change.

That time I left my marriage after 3 months of knowing my current partner and moved in with him and his 2 boys. I had no money, no car and absolutely no idea what I was going to do. Not long after that I started my degree as a mature age student and didn't look back, graduating with a PhD in 2013, got a 'real' job as a lecturer etc etc.

The other day in the surf I realised I was in a Mercury mood. I mentally quit my job. I was in that state of 'I don't care what happens, I just need to get out of here'. I'm also born in the year of the Rat and Rats always need an escape route. Later the 'adult' regained partial control. At this age I don't have as many options or energy as I used to - the world is also a different place. But Mercury doesn't care about that and won't be denied so I decided to 'veer' rather than 'swerve'. I just applied to do a Bachelor of Social Work online through ECU. 

I may not be accepted - it's quite competetive and maybe I am too old. I'm wondering if I have the energy to do another degree and whether I will actually get a job when I finish as an even older woman. In my head at least it makes sense. It's something I can do as an old person and it is a sideways move rather than a complete about face - though it is quite a step away from my chosen profession as artist. We'll see.

Drawing - hand to digital by Dr Grafix (author)

Shanti-shed

Ok so I've taken a bit of creative licence - but I love my new room. It's a bit whacky. I've used artificial grass instead of carpet and it's more of a bed-sit-office than a bedroom. 

When I look out the south window at night I see twinkling stars for the first time in a decade (we lived under karris for the past 10 years). When I look out the west window I see my little poodle's grave in amongst the bush, and when I look north through the double sliding doors I see the start of my veggie garden framed by scrubby heathland bush.

I love this type of bush. I wonder if you have to be born Australian to truly appreciate it. It's where I roamed feral as a kid - finding dumped cars with old bullets in them and digging cubbies in the grey-white sand. It's full of wildflowers that are often difficult to see unless you look hard. It's also full of wildlife - burrowing frogs, grubs, tiny birds, snakes, lizards - and lots of weird fungi. 

The house is new but the bush feels ancient. I want to try my best to look after it and all its residents.

Image by blog author. Digital drawing.

too old

own your shit

I don't suppose this will be a very popular post but I'm doing it anyway. Because shit is really important. There's 'psychological shit', 'material shit' and just good ol' 'bodily waste type shit'. And they are all really important in the scheme of things. 

So what is shit anyway? It's stuff we don't need and don't want. There are a few ways of dealing with it. The most effective is to process it in a positive way. The second is to hide or bury it (either in some complex psychological issue or literally in the ground or the ocean). The third is throwing it away and pretending you had nothing to do with it. The fourth is to invoke straight out denial ie shit doesn't exist, which is a very convenient and common way of not dealing with it. 

Some people don't want to talk about shit because it's unpleasant, difficult and sometimes plain confronting. But let's face it - ALL the problems in the world are the result of humans not dealing with their shit. And this is why I care about this topic so much.

Shit has its own life and the bodily aspect of it can be very valuable or very toxic - depending on how much effort you put into dealing with it. For a few weeks now we have been using our newly installed waterless toilet. There's nothing like a composting toilet to force you to confront your own shit - because you see it and move it around. The first revelation is just how much shit a human body produces. There's no getting away with it - the daily evacuation simply has to be physically dealt with. 

A waterless toilet also makes you painfully aware of how much beautiful clean water is wasted in this country to flush a perfectly usable commodity down the toilet. This is only one component in a very complex fucked-up system within which we are dealing inappropriately with waste in general. My partner has recently declared himself a budding 'human-urist' and is becoming quite obsessed with microbes, good and bad bacteria and ways to use our shit on the garden because what used to occur naturally just doesn't now. It's a full-time job living sustainably and responsibly. 

Dealing with shit requires courage and a commitment to truth. But first you have to take ownership of it, take responsibility and that's a major hurdle.

Munted Doll graphic: Dr Grafix (blog author)

Toilet (line graphic): https://www.dragoart.com, colour by Dr Grafix

it's not enough

'It’s not enough to get to work on time, to firm up the waist line, to balance the cheque book, and learn how to smile like a nice person. 

If that’s all there is, we’re still the same little earth worms, getting older every day, and no wondrous new birth has taken place within us.' 

Kreinheder

'A Buddhist Koan says: “The master holds the disciple’s head underwater for a long, long time; gradually the bubbles become fewer; at the last moment, the master pulls the disciple out and revives him: when you have craved truth as you crave air, then you will know what truth is".' 

Roland Barthes

image: ©Dr Grafix 2019

Yakkity Yak

Apropos of absolutely nothing - or maybe because I need some light relief from the double-onslaught of existential climate and election wars - I thought I'd mention one of my fave cartoon characters.

Yakkity Yak is an Australian–Canadian animated television series....that ran on Teletoon in Canada and on Nickelodeon in Australia from November 9, 2002 to December 12, 2003. The series was known for its surreal humor and featured animation incongruous with Nickelodeon's typical style. 

'Incongruous' definitely, or maybe just 'weird'. The cartoon was designed and executed by Australian Mark Gravas who now runs Kapow Pictures with his partner. This guy does some pretty weird stuff and I relate to his weirdness. Judge for yourself:

Yakkity Yak relates the adventures of a teenage yak (12 year old) whose life dream is to be a comedian. His best friend is a hyper-intelligent kid with a pineapple for a head, and he lives with Granny Yak, who rents a room to a mad scientist with crazy hair who actually looks remarkably like a pineapple himself. Each 30-minute episode consists of two short segments, in which Yakkity tries to achieve something in the dumbest way possible, his friend Keo tries to rescue him, and both of them usually end up suffering for their schemes in one way or another. The day is never saved, and lessons are never learned.

The last sentence of that abstract summarises all that is exceedingly frustrating yet very amusing in regards to the human condition - 'The day is never saved, and lessons are never learned'.

I love the graphics so much I made my own Facebook header in the Nickelodeon style.

Note: I'm breaking with academic protocol by not referencing this post. If you want to know more just Google it.

Sanctuary

Sanctuary: 1. refuge or safety from pursuit, persecution or other danger.   2. a nature reserve.

We finally have our Land for Wildlife accreditation. It's part of what may turn out to be a useless plan to make Shanti some sort of sanctuary - for ourselves, some people and wildlife. I believe if you have an intention things manifest accordingly. The kangaroos have already destroyed a thriving banksia I planted and we have had more visitors in a month than we had in a year at our last abode. My gut feeling is that people really are starting to freak out and the wildlife is just doing it's best to survive.

If my friends and family have been paying attention they will know I am a 'doomsday prophet'. As a teenager I had lucid visions of a world in collapse and felt deep down in my psyche that the dreams were portentous. As humanity faces the existential crisis that is climate change and the decimation of the planet on multiple levels I feel vindicated. This way of thinking has coloured my entire life but after more than 40 years of living with this 'reality' I have made peace with what may well turn out to be a delusion. Included in my predictions though was an expectation that when the threat of extinction was realised by others on a large scale things would get really interesting. I think that for the past few years particularly there have been visible signs of that.

It's pretty telling that those in the first world with opportunity - with everything they have and are able to experience positively - are still are miserable. People often ask me 'what's going on, why is everyone so stressed? Why aren't we happy??' I don't think they necessarily assume I know - they're just thinking aloud. 

Whether right or wrong or just plain mad - this is my response. 

Many years ago I blogged a lot about things 'deep and meaningful' - the archetypes that shape human behaviour and spirituality. Those blog posts are gone now. There didn't seem to be much point - the time wasn't right and people don't read stuff anyway. There was the added fear that my employers would stumble across my rantings and brand me a complete lunatic. Before I wiped the content from cyberspace though I got my posts printed in several hard bound books. I'm camping out at the moment and those books are in storage but I am going to dig them out.

In the meantime life goes on - I'm building, planning a hybrid native-veggie garden and working for money. Just how realistic any kind of sanctuary is in a world where people are freaking out and acting more randomly, in a climate that's heating up and drying out - is anyone's guess.