Where do I start? There's so much going on. Maybe this will have to be a stream of consciousness rant.
Life is surreal. Even more than usual.
Today my partner and I went to Pepper & Salt Restaurant (above) to celebrate 20 years together. For anyone who knows us this is a real accomplishment. Apart from the first rocky couple of years, it hasn't actually been that difficult. Which means we both finally made a good choice.
Sitting in the rather posh (for me) restaurant was surreal. Floods in Germany and COVID lockdowns a world away kept messing with my peace of mind. The food was brilliant. The view stunning. I tried to tell myself it was OK to enjoy myself. But the rest of the world kept crashing in to remind me not to enjoy myself too much. I don't think the other people in the restaurant were feeling guilty. The alcohol probably helped with that.
Images of sad Mongolians kept drifting into my mind - the ones who are being forced to leave their nomadic life on the steppes because their sheep are dying from a lack of food. A perfect storm of climate change and overstocking since the Communists stopped regulating the size of their herds. So much for free enterprise. Humans need regulating. If you let them do what they want they will expand their flocks, have too many children, cut down all the trees and leave nothing for the next generation. Humans really haven't grown up yet. These Mongolians are giving up generations of nomadic life to move to the stinking cities and live on rubbish tips, ekeing out a paltry living collecting plastic bottles. Spending $60 on lunch just has to be wrong.
Maybe it's just my age - but I feel I am living on borrowed time. I'm not in their league but I'm starting to understand why Buddha and Jesus devoted their lives to relieving the suffering of others. But is there any point in that? Maybe when there was certainty that the world would keep spinning, the sun would shine and the rain would come. But now? Here I am working my arse off nurturing 5 acres of bush and trying to save a few numbats from the arson squad of government fire regulators. Is there any point? I used to believe in an afterlife, but right now I don't.
We are witnessing the beginning of the end. I don't know how we can turn back. Eight billion people need food and water on an over-heated and ravaged planet. It is the most heartbreaking of times. I'm noticing that my other favorite bloggers are experiencing a similar awakening to this horrible moment. I have tears in my eyes as I type this. I said to Roger the other day, if I were going to be buried after I die (I plan on being cremated), I would have wanted a headstone that said, "At last, I leave no footprint."
ReplyDeleteWow Robin that is a poignant epitaph. I'm sorry my post made you so sad. I wish I could be more positive and maybe I will in time. I haven't been posting because I haven't been able to think of positive things to say. Also, in the face of what is happening, the minutiae of my small life seems so very banal. It's interesting that fellow bloggers are struggling too.
DeleteI wish I could put things into a holistic perspective. I mean the reality is that life comes and goes, civilisations come and go and species go into extinction. I guess what I find so difficult to accept is the beauty we are losing, and the fact that this is not a random catastrophe. It is one of our own making. I wish I could stop being angry with my fellow humans who refuse to see that. It's like being in a car with a drunk driver who won't let you drive, who then proceeds to wrap the car around a tree and take you out. I feel like I'm watching this car crash in agonising slow motion. I'll definitely have to work on that.
Your post didn't make me sad. It reminded me that I am not alone in how I see our very sad planet. It's true that civilizations come and go and species go into extinction, but I'm not sure one species caused a catastrophic decline the way we humans do. Lately the headlines in the NY Times and The Washington Post are shouting out about our climate catastrophes. With the disastrous collapse of the condominium in Florida and the torrential rains that left a deadly path of destruction in Germany and Belgium, we are witnessing it in real time. It is mid-summer here in California. We wait for the big fires to ignite. Roger's daughter came to see us yesterday and then began her drive home up into the winding mountains east of us. She texted us to say that she was turning back because of a fire up ahead. Every summer now... we call it fire season. What have we done to our beautiful earth and all the other innocent creatures we share the planet with. Yes, it's like the car and the drunk driver.
DeleteIn Australia we have always called summer 'fire season'. I've never liked the heat much but now I dread summer like never before.
DeleteEven though it often seems pointless, I console myself that even though the wildlife at our place, and the numbats in the Dryandra forest, will eventually succumb to global warming - I might have helped them at least live out their lives. Many generations of Blue Wrens will have come and gone before the planet is finally destroyed. And I hope for a miracle.
My oldest son is vegan and he is as obnoxious about it as the stereotype depicts so his sisters often complain about him. I see their point but I know his behaviour is driven by absolute desperation about the state of the planet.
ReplyDeleteIt's unfortunate that a few of us carry the weight of it all every day and in every decision while most just carry on.
Kylie I really do understand why vegans believe and do what they do. I tend not to eat much meat mainly because I don't approve of the way animals are treated. When I do I eat it, I eat beef which is grass fed from around where I live. I never eat chicken or lamb or pork. Never.
DeleteAnd is it even possible to do the right thing? It seems pretty futile to take a stand and minimise your impacts on the planet when most people aren't pulling their weight. But I guess if we all did it, we would fix most problems. I do what I can where I can.
My partner has this great philosophy based on some lifestyle guru's theory of 'sphere of influence'. That is, don't sweat the stuff you can do nothing about, but definitely change your behaviour where you can. I guess there is a sense of empowerment in that.
We have known for decades...this is all coming as no surprise, the gentle wild earth trying to shake off the cancer of human, far too successful of a species running rampant. There is a raccoon on the deck reaching for peanuts meant for the jays, a butterfly just fluttered by- the temperature is perfect, sky is blue , a soft breeze off of the sea, Lyrical day, I treasure this moment. There is no future further than five minutes from now. We make stabs at it - electric car, recycling, boycotting, solar panels, measuring water use...too little too late, but personally makes us feel a bit better as we exit this precious earth.
ReplyDeleteI get it Linda Sue. I've known all my life I would witness the end, or at lest some of it. And I have considered doing just what you are doing. For the moment I can't. Maybe at some point I will give up the fight and just enjoy what is left.
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