I should be at work but I'm home because I've hit a bit of a 'brick wall'. I suspect it's just burnout - something like chronic or adrenal fatigue. I'm going to get some medical input but figure it's most likely going to be a case of me taking time out and putting myself back together again.
It was inevitable and it has happened before. Of course I can't afford to take time off work because I'm a casual, but my boss is being as supportive as he can be. It won't replace my 2 days a week income but he is looking at allowing me to work on some documents for the new training package for my art course at home and wants me back as soon as I am able. You can't ask for more than that.
Image: Random photo of Mona Meier's from the internet, words by me.
Beautiful words on a beautiful photo. Take care there, and I hope the time off helps you get centered again and feeling well. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Robin. There is just so much going on and hopelessness is everywhere - more of an undercurrent than an acknowledged reality. The trick for me is to find a way to live out the rest of my life without succumbing to that reality. I can do it - I'm just not in that place right now.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about this, Michelle. I know too well the insecurity of casual work and if leave becomes extensive it adds to the hopelessness.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are well supported and taking care of yourself, hopefully you will be up and runniing again soon
Thanks Kylie. Yes, I've followed some of your story re casual work and sympathised.
DeleteMy boss is very supportive and so is my partner. He advises me to chuck it in permanently and that we will cope financially, but I like have my own income - even if it's not a lot. Also, the implications for the art program are huge. They hadn't had an art lecturer for years when I rocked up. It's a tough gig, but a crtical one in the prison system - for administraion as well as the guys. I think the responsibility of that has weighed me down too and I have finally crumpled.
I've been doing the job for just over 5 years so maybe I just need a break. I note that other prison staff have long periods of leave from time to time. It gets to everyone.