comet girl

I am revisiting some of my old oil paintings and turning them into digital images. I never finished this one in its original state but had done most of the figure. I am now using it as a reference for this new work.

It is an adaptation of a dream I had fairly recently, so it is 'autobiographical' (although I have taken a fair bit of artistic licence).

Digital painting suits me so much better than traditional media. It is still time consuming but less frustrating because I can change things more easily if they don't work. Also, because I construct an image in layers, I can move things around for better composition, like the comets for example - or create an entirely new background for the figure. 

I think I was born too early because this technology wasn't around for most of my life. I didn't touch a computer until I was 41. Better late than never I guess - at least I have had the opportunity to learn to paint with digital media.

apropos 'of nothing'

This is my contribution to the group exhibition of nothing currently showing at 'Kent River Studio' from the 26 September to 11 October. 

Hand drawn linework digitally coloured and printed on 310 gm archival paper (the grid was created in Photoshop).

getting happier

I've decided I like this better without the outlines in the background. I love the ease with which you can apply tones in Manga Studio and I am having fun learning how to use them.

There is a precedent for this style of course (isn't there always?). I was watching Pokemon today (not much on TV at that time of the morning while I'm having a cuppa) and noticed this is how they do it. The characters have outlines and the backgrounds don't. Although my style of drawing is quite different and limited to black and white, for this one at least.

I'm finding it quite addictive.

skater boy WIP

Had a bit of difficulty deciding on a strategy for the background. I did a ballpoint pen drawing and imported to Photoshop to create a psd file. Then I tried vectorising in Illustrator and even inking with the pen tool. I am not a huge fan of the perfect inked line the pen tool tends to create when you are inexperienced with it (as I am). Finally settled on this - isolated the line and now colouring in Manga Studio on a layer underneath.

I am enjoying the brush because it is giving me a mottled texture rather than super smooth saturated colour. Maybe not as good as the stock background provided by Manga Studio but more in keeping with the figure. I like the layout of the background better too as it gives it more depth. Works for me anyway.

me & manga studio 5

I thought I had it already but couldn't find it in applications (I bought Anime Studio Pro by mistake). So I invested yet another $80 in software to get Manga Studio 5. This was going to be my summer holiday project but I got a bit excited and jumped the gun.

I've posted this drawing here before but I made some changes in Manga Studio today - more shading and applying a texture to the board. Easy as - just select the area with the Magic Wand and drag the texture in. Which is cool if you want to apply the 'halftone' dots you see in comics. The background is an MS freebie. I am planning to do an original eventually. And I haven't finished the soles of the shoes - you can see the clouds through them.

You can import as a psd (with all layers preserved) - which supports my method of hand drawing and Live Tracing in Illustrator to colour in another program. The pencil is much better than PS and the brushes are really nice to use. You can rotate your work easily but I haven't figured out how to do that yet. The interface is a bit different to Illustrator and Photoshop, but similar enough so you can feel your way around until you get to some tutorials. For some reason it saves automatically as RGB which is a bit of a nuisance if you are doing stuff for print but it's easily fixed.

I think this is definitely the program for people who like drawing.

skater boy update

Experimenting with my shading. I bit hesitant at the moment but I reckon I will get better. I've been trying to teach myself this style of drawing for a while - it's quite different to my usual 'chiaroscuro' with the 3D emphasis on shading.

I will be working on the background for this next. Always so much to learn. Brilliant.

skater boy

I've discovered a great way to get hand drawn images inked in Illustrator and coloured in Photoshop.

This is a work in progress.

final walkabout map

icon fun

Hand drawn icons for a map project. Such fun.

(un)motivational poster

This is what I have been working on lately - an un-motivational poster with the theme: 'Against Milk'. I went for the jugular! Unsurprisingly it has proved a bit controversial in the net-sphere. Which of course was the intention - I'm not one to be subtle.

I still have to finish drawing the udder.

another sphere

2013 to 2015

Every so often I put my name in Google's search engine to see what images come up. The first screen grab is 2013. The second is 2015. The emphasis has definitely changed.

sphere

vale Joan Campbell

In the early hours of this morning my Wise Old Rosicrucian Friend, artist and spiritual mentor Joan May Cambell died. I am so sad - not for her, for myself - Joan was 85 and lived a rich and fruitful life. She became ill a few months ago and her passing was testament to the way she lived that life. Like her husband and fellow Rosicrucian Allan Campbell, she left without a fuss, as nature intended – the body had had enough and she went quietly. I spoke to her recently about how she had worn out her old body and needed a new one:

I’m sure I will be back - there is much work to do and this is where the work is.

I know I’ll see you again Joan - I will keep an eye out.

Yes, we recognised each other this time around didn’t we?

Yes, we did.

I saw Joan in the hospice 3 days before she died. She was drugged up and a bit vague, but still very keen to join in the conversation – about art of course. When I left I knew it was the last time I would see her – in this life anyway. I had a hell of a night, I couldn’t sleep and at some point had a waking vision of a black bird whose large wings fluttered around my head. I actually felt it and heard the rustling. I knew then that Joan was leaving soon.

There is too much to tell of Joan’s life here. In the months leading up to her illness I helped her a bit with her memoir – mainly to get it formatted to e-mail out. It tells the story in her own words far better than I could.

If I had to encapsulate what Joan gifted me it is this:

‘there is a virtue greater than Truth, which can be relative and even hurtful, and it is COMPASSION’. 

As a lover of truth above all else, I realised I had to change my thinking and I did. I will never forget this piece of wisdom and I will never forget Joan.

halftones & watercolour

Watercolour effects using filters, layers and blending modes (thanks Chris Spooner)

Quick halftone pop portrait.

more rough stuff in AI

rough pop portraits

growing old disgracefully

Still flat out. Juggling on-line study, lecturing duties and fitting in a surf at every opportunity. Who'd have thought this time, after 8 years of relentless effort to finish my PhD, would end up being yet another intense learning period. I have been catapulted into a world of saturated colour, typography, digital software and a whole new way of looking at the world. For someone of my vintage this has to be a good thing, right - if learning fends off altzheimer's then things are looking good for me in my dotage.

I don't expect any sympathy - it's clearly my own fault - my decision. But I have to defend myself - I am now of an age considered by many to be 'too old', 'dispensible' and probably even 'surplus to requirements' in a clamouring workforce. But dammit, my motto is: 'evolve or die' and I'm not  ready to give up just yet. It's a matter of necessity as much as anything - the retirement age is a goal post that keeps getting moved further away every year. Even if I wanted to retire I couldn't - I am going to need to keep working.

Unfortunately the graphic design industry seems to be a young person's domain. I teach in that field and I wonder how much longer I can stay there. If the funding holds out, my university lecturer duties at least allow me to be 'old and wise', but in the commercial digital media age I get the impression that anyone over 40 should move over and think seriously about retiring. Except that my generation is the first to wholeheartedly reject the 'generation gap' and insists on growing old disgracefully.

I accept that life has it's own rhythms and stuff happens I can't control. But until or unless that happens - for those of you who think I should lay down and die - sorry kids, it's a big 'fuck you'.

images: some of my latest work - Photoshop, Illustrator and vector self-portrait (top).

1980s text

I'm not very good at following instructions. But there are some great free tutorials on the net so I forced myself. 

This is my interpretation of a special type effects tute by Digital Tutors. I had to create the word as a vector for the first layer because I couldn't download the file from the site (maybe because I needed to be a paying customer!)

It didn't turn out quite like the one in the demo, but I am pretty happy with it. Using the airbrush for splatters and a couple of highlights was instructive too.

a 'drop in the ocean'

The surf has been crap for weeks - either a ridiculous holiday crowd on the rare shifty wave inside the point or blowing it's guts out onshore slop further around the bay where I like to get away from everyone. But I've decided to make the most of my daily pilgimage to the beach by doing a 200 metre walk to the inlet and back to get some exercise and pick up rubbish. 

I started out furtively a few months ago - feeling like the local pariah, after all, it's only the dregs of society that handle other people's shit no matter how many brownies (of beer) you give your nice garbo for Christmas. But then I decided to make myself very visible, because I wanted people to see that someone cared enough to do something about the degradation. This issue has reached epidemic proportions - recently images of plankton that have ingested plastic have been posted on Facebook.

I can't be angry at those who walk past me empty-handed and stare blankly - after all, that is what I have been doing for most of my life too. They probably don't even notice the rubbish, or if they do, think there isn't much point in picking it up - the problem is just too big. 

Recently I was on my way back up the beach and stopped to chat with one of the local legend surfers - a very cool young board-shaper with blonde dreadlocks and an equally cool name: Xanda. By way of a slightly embarassed apology I explained why I was carrying a handful of blue and green rope fragments and other bits of detritus.  He laughed out loud and said: 'I do that too!! And I have to pick up every tiny bit - it drives me nuts but I just have to'. Now I don't need this guy's approval, but it felt brilliant to be sharing my obsession with someone from a very different time and demographic to myself. Later the local surf instructor also saw me picking up rubbish and echoed Xanda's comment: 'I pick up rubbish too'. It felt good having a couple of allies.

This is today's stash. I'll admit this is a bit more than usual because the raging onshore wind has thrown up lots of floating plastic on the high tide. Which is good, because I can grab it before the tide takes it out again. When I bend down I say to myself - 'well that is one more bit of plastic that won't end up in some poor fish or bird's stomach'. Sure it's just a drop in the ocean, but at least I feel like I am doing something. The worst thing about watching the destruction of my beloved nature is feeling impotent - although I will probably make little overall impact, I am relying on the flow-on effect. I am modelling the behaviour I want others to follow - kids see me doing it and look quizzically at me, but until today, nobody has commented. Today a woman walking up the beach smiled at me and said: 'Good on you'. And another, a female surfer entering the water, said: 'Bless you'.

Lately I have noticed a trend in social behaviour and attitudes. It is become clearer to many of us that we can't rely on 'the government' to fix things any more. On many issues the people are taking back the power and the responsibility. Again on Facebook, someone recently posted a video of a group of militant muslims promoting Shariah law being shouted down by another group shouting even louder: 'bullshit' and 'where are the women?' It was brilliant to see apathetic Aussies standing up and being counted - we are all going to have to be more personally accountable if we are to maintain some level of equity in this country.

Sure, what I am doing is just a 'drop in the ocean', in retaliation against those who 'drop stuff in the ocean', but I'm going to make a prediction. I reckon, within time, I will see more people picking up rubbish at my local beach. 

respect and the ‘right’ to speak

Lately events in my small universe and the world at large have prompted me to question the value of our much lauded democratic right to ‘say what we fucking like’. Years ago I would have defended that right to the death. Now I wouldn’t. Simply because, as a child of a democracy, I must defend everyone’s rights equally, and not every opinion is equal in its worth.

Facebook has been the catalyst. In its anonymity and remoteness from real world consequence it is a mecca for the opinionated and disrespectful. As a result I have recently withdrawn from several conversations, pages and a group.

The first incident was brought about by a comment I made regarding the acknowledgement of an artist’s work on a UK digital magazine’s FB page. I guess I could have been a bit less confrontational, but this magazine purported to be a ‘professional’ organisation and, as an artist, intellectual property infringements make my blood boil. The conversation went as follows:

‪

Michelle Frantom: I think your magazine is awesome, but it seems as though this article has work in it that belongs to someone else (see Bert Schipper's comment). If that's the case, you really need to get your act together re referencing and copyright issues. There is way too much of this sort of thing going on on the internet. Please make sure you reference a designer's or artist's work - it's in everyone's interests.

Magazine: Michelle, can you clarify what you are referring to here? And where is Bert Schipper's comment?
 








‪

The conversation got waylaid after that – the page regulator clearly missed the point I was trying to make and I just got frustrated.

I got no further response on FB but I did get, almost immediately, a dodgy e-mail with no text and a link via my website contact page. Call me paranoid, but I didn’t click on it because I was in no doubt who it was from and that its intention was malicious and viral. I Googled the magazine and discovered they were quite dodgy – they had appropriated their name from a reputable design organisation in the US to begin with.

Since then I have been more careful about making comments on FB, yet I was still attacked as a right winger for commenting on the issue of population growth and parental responsibility. I withdrew my comment and myself from that conversation too.

Today I got embroiled in an art page conversation after I made a comment supporting a post by someone who was making a point about professional integrity. When things got personal again, I messaged the page manager to thank her and opted out of the group.

Free speech is one thing, but real dialogue and the constructive exchange of ideas is being shouted down by: 

1. political correctness and 

2. self-obsessed and opinionated egoists.

In the democratic West we feel we have a God-given right to speak, even an obligation, to share our superior knowledge. Except that we are very often ill-informed and dissent is not even a possibility. I do not condone the shootings at Charlie Hebdo headquarters, but I can understand why it happened. How has satirising the iconic figures of some very dysfunctional politico-religious groups so soon after the shootings assisted in getting those disengaged people to the discussion table? It hasn’t – it has alienated them even more. Of course they are radicals, but the West needs to take responsibility for the fact that it has inflamed the situation by being so damned sure it was right in the first place.

I can’t remember if it was Plato or Socrates who wrote about the ‘rule of the shouting masses’, but it seems to me that this is what we have descended into. I have joined a political group called the Australian Progressives. I will probably vote Green as I usually do, but I support passionate dialogue so I signed up as a founding member so they could get started. So far this group has been having some really civilised, sensible and socially responsible discussions about what sort of country we want to live in as they develop their policies. But even here, individuals get shouted down if what they say does not fit the politically correct cultural canon which implies:

You can’t suggest people have less children, you must support all asylum seekers and refugees and you aren’t allowed to raise concerns about cultural incompatibilites. You have to support the current health system, even if you think the country can’t afford it and many people are clogging up doctor’s surgeries when they don’t really need to be there (cue personal health responsibility lecture). As an Aussie, you must love the flag and not criticise the rednecks who have several streaming from their car windows on Australia Day (my least favourite public holiday). I could go on – but these are the sorts of issues that get hijacked and shut down when someone tries to have a sensible conversation.

Currently in the West there is a ridiculous dichotomy – you are entitled to say what you think, give your often uneducated opinion on every bloody issue even if you are a moron BUT, God help you if you cross the line. You will be called a racist, a xenophobe, a feminist, a misogynist, a communist, a barren bitch or a homophobic.

On radio national the other day someone said something about the right to free speech, about how maybe we should question whether what we are about to say is going to actually contribute anything to the conversation. Of course disagreement can be useful, because conflict and debate are important and should eventually lead to compromise. Instead, there are so many shouting voices, so many ill-informed, ego-driven individuals with their own agenda that dissenting yet wise voices are not being heard.

At the basis of it all is a fundamental lack of respect for others. The West’s disrespect for anything that isn’t democracy is naturally opposed by those who’s alternatives are not even considered worthy enough to talk about. I don’t support oppression or dictators, but when my friends tell me that capitalism is the best of a bad bunch - I can’t agree with them. Capitalism encourages and justifies exploitation. And that’s the other significant point I want to make here – Capitalism and Democracy have become so inextricably entwined it is difficult to evaluate them independently. Capitalism is not Democracy and vice versa. Democracy serves capitalism but it is not a reciprocal relationship.

Do we have a right to speak out? Even if it hurts someone’s feelings, or contributes to terrorism and war? Ideologically yes, everyone has a right to speak, but mindless, uninformed babble without some kind of constructive social or philosophical agenda does not serve the world. When in doubt, I try to think like a Buddhist: what is the intention?

image: https://drjeffreyrubin.wordpress.com/2012/09/01/providing-negative-criticism-five-levels-of-maturity/

shark

'Me and the Shark', watercolour and pencil on paper

As I counted heads at my overcrowded local surf break - bemoaning the holiday season - I said to myself: 'all it would take is one shark'. Of course I only meant a sighting at my own beach, not the fatal attack 100+ kms east. Nevertheless it seems to have done the trick - the day after there were many less holiday-makers in the water. Only the statisticians, deluded or fatalistic persisted (including myself). Even the day after numbers were well down and I enjoyed the best offshore surf for weeks. However, my joy was a little dampened by my own mean-spiritedness and I felt a bit guilty - but I am not God and I didn't create that tragic event.

The drop in numbers again yesterday might have had something to do with a reported sighting of a big Great White 80 kms west (at another coastal holiday spot). Apparently there were 3 sighted - but I suspect a bit of narrative hyperbole is creeping in here. When I was living on a yacht in Cockburn Sound on the west coast, sightings of tiger sharks were regular - so regular that I became suspicious and went back to diving for crabs on the weed beds. I'm pretty sure someone was putting out false reports to maximise their crab catch.

So what is it with sharks and their relationship with humans? What is really going on? In the 'real world' theories abound: we have overfished the oceans and they are just plain hungry; there are many more people in the water; as top predators in the food chain sharks have a gutful of plastic, are weak and hungry so target humans more; sharks are not being fished as much any more - the Great White is even protected......and on it goes. If you talk to the fishermen they have their own theories, for example, it's the 3 metre sharks that are the most dangerous because they are going from being 'juvenile' to adult, from fish eaters to blubber eaters. Kind of makes sense - they are inexperienced and probably target humans by mistake. The amount who get attacked and summarily spat out seems to support this theory - the shark has simply made a mistake, 'I wasn't really trying to eat you, but I seemed to have ripped your leg off. Sorry'. 

The rule is, you don't talk about sharks when you are out the back (surfing), unless you see one of course, and then it is your duty to let everyone know as calmly and quickly as possible. You aren't really supposed to talk about them at the beach at all, but we are breaking the rules and talking about them more. The talk is mixed, some want them culled, some accept they might end up as big fish fodder, some just take up golf.

As I watched the popularity of surfing rise exponentially during the past 15 years - when epidemic numbers of people flocked to the ocean to take up the new trendy past-time and boards appeared on every roofrack - I made a prediction. Of course it was informed by my understanding of psychology and archetypes. In a historical context I figured it was absolutely right for humanity to return to the sea - at the end of a cycle in earth's history we are just following an archetypal instinct because it was here that human life originated. 

In psychological terms though, humanity, and Western culture in particular, has not dealt with its collective unconscious. I have blogged about this before - our tendency to bury or deny the distasteful, to project evil onto others, is catching up with us. We try and distance ourselves from our shit - we chuck it 'away'. Just lately a slogan has been doing the rounds: there is no 'away'. Running out of clean resources and land, we are being called to account for centuries of destructive behaviour. There is no 'other' - only a projection of ourselves. But what has this got to do with the sea? Because it is a symbol for the unconscious - not just for Westerners, but for all humans. Many cultures fear the sea - until relatively recently the Balinese did not swim in the ocean because evil spirits reside there. The collective returning and immersing one's-self in the ocean is a compulsory symbolic act - right and proper at this time in human evolution. 

It is my belief that the return to the sea has reached fever pitch and this is where my prediction comes in: as I struggled to deal with the increasing hordes now occupying the surf, I anticipated there would be a turning point - the rush would ease and result in people hesitating and some even withdrawing. What would bring about this change? 

The humble, yet much feared shark. 

The shark symbolises a fundamental primal hidden fear - not just death, but a particular kind of death: being devoured. We enjoy the concept when we are in love, obessesed - and it gets expressed perfectly during sex in both physical and psychological ways. But the shark that dominates the realm of the unconscious sea is the negative expression of this 'devouring' because we lose identity, consciousness and/or life.

I know this because I have had a long relationship with the shark. As a kid, and even in my adult years, I used to dream about them all the time. The dreams stopped many years ago when I let one eat me - when I met my fear head on and surrendered to it. My relationship with the shark is expressed in the drawing above.

It is no accident the shark has made its way into the media and regularly occupies our thoughts. Things must be dealt with, not buried or thrown into the sea where we can't see them and pretend they don't exist. It is time for a reckoning, time to dive into the unconscious and face the negative aspects of human consciousness. If we don't take on this task willingly, it will be thrust upon us. Nobody gets away with anything. There is no 'away'.